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Tuesday

The killing fields


The weak sun flavors an insipid mist.
Outside the silent cave
bones and blood
of desires; some still writhe.
The tombstones wait
for the coffins.
But never-born children –
How do you bury those?
 ~

25 comments:

  1. Rather wonderful, Alaka and with a flat and painful longing.

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  2. Anita, Bindhu,
    Thanks.

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  3. This poem touched on two different aspects.One the agony of losing a baby before birth,while other one touched the broken dreams.Small but very stimulating poetry.

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  4. Thanks Nithin.

    The poem has only one focus. Of course interpretations can vary, but the 'baby' here is of mental origin rather than physical.

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  5. A mother knows the pain of a lost child; God knows the pain of a dead creation! Beautiful put!
    [my poetry at:
    http://diaryoffreedom.tk/ ]

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  6. Thought provoking words so well written.

    Anita.

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  7. very questioning poetry, deep and touching.. well written Alakaline!

    Rally Week 32, My Entry

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  8. Very concentrated and a solid conclusion, but I'm left wanting just a little more context-who, where, how, etc somewhere to focus the cause and effect. Still, better to have a short and concise poem where the reader is left with questions than spelling it out and losing the impetus.

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  9. Thanks, Anita and Leo.

    Hedgewitch, I appreciate the question you have raised. I too often wonder how much to add to a poem and how much to leave out. This one began with many more details. That seemed a trifle dull.. so the chopping and chiseling. Now it is more to do with the reader than the poet.

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  10. But never-born children –
    How do you bury those...


    super empowering lines,
    masterfully done.

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  11. Really understated, which I like. You take few words to say something so meaningful; I'm so impressed!

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  12. the ending is so powerful... it hits the reader... beautifully written

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  13. this is painful, how does one bury the unborn?

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  14. you painted the image of a blood drenched killing field... must say excellent work

    .Mase Da Rula.
    A Ruler's Kingdom
    http://dieselfromthad.wordpress.com

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  15. this is truly an amazing poem.

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  16. But never-born children –
    How do you bury those?

    How do you grieve for something that never happened? Thought-provoking. :)

    Yuuki-chan:
    http://sugaryichigo.wordpress.com/2010/11/06/gedankenblitze/

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  17. hey, thanx all..

    @sugaryichigo: the person grieves precisely because something that they wanted to happen, never can happen anymore..and that is why the question.

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  18. I love this...
    especially the last two lines...
    amazing :)

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  19. Very wonderful... I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing...

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

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  20. great piece. makes you think about your theme and subject. poignant...

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  21. Thought proving. Simple poem and very meaningful. :)

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  22. Alakaline, a lovely piece and beautifully written. A sad subject

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  23. Very true, jackjericho.

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